So, being the last minute mom I am sometimes I of course had my son sit down last night to write up his Valentine's to his classmates. Knowing that there were 20 some odd to do, I really should have known better then to think this would be a easy task.
It started out with him getting worked up because he couldn't tear them apart. So, I took one off and showed him then how to fold them, peel the heart off the sticker sheet and use it to seal up the Valentine's. That of course spiraled because he couldn't fold the cards, couldn't get the stickers off etc etc.
So we made the deal that I would tear them, fold them, take the sticker off and seal them. All is good. While making dinner I hear the familiar signs of frustration coming from him.
What's wrong? I ask him.
I don't have a pen.
Ok, get one.
Problem solved? No.
Now, we didn't have a hard spot to write on. I sent him off to the diningroom table.
Think i'm now good to continue on with dinner, I of course should have known.
He had started his first Valentine, only have written the receipiant in the From portion, and his name in the to section. As we all know, because it's not perfect it was the start of a melt down.
I quickly agreed to write his Valentine's to his class, while he agreed to write the one's for his teachers. I let him know (again) that it's ok to make mistakes and I'm sure the recepiant wouldn't even notice.
As he is writing his Valentine's, his 3 year old sister is running around with the Valentine's heart's trying to place them on every surface of her and the home. Of course, this leads to more frustration. This means there might not be enough hearts, and of course again - they won't be perfect!
An hour and half later - 25 Valentine's were written and ready to head to school today.
Mom - while once the kids were tucked away in bed, enjoy'd a nice quiet glass of wine! ;)
Thursday, 14 February 2013
Monday, 11 February 2013
Here we go again.....
So, I'm not going to lie. Going through this process with one child is tough. It's taxing, and some day's can be both emotionally and physcially draining.
Now, imagine if you were doing it X 2.
Yup, you read that correctly. Now, we are facing the potential of having two children who fall under the autism spectrum.
We've noticed the odd quirk about our 3 year old daughter, but never really knew if it was my daughter feeding off my son, mimicking him or if it was just her natural reaction. We've noticed her covering her ears when she is startled, not liking tags from the clothing that are located on the side and more recently walking on her tip toes. She is also currently in a pre school program, and her teacher's had mentioned to us that her fine motor skills appear to be behind the other children in the program. The red flag for me was when the teacher added on the sentence, it wouldn't concern us if she wasn't so smart.
I can almost recall those same words being said about my son when he was younger.
So while in the midst of having one child diagnosed, I started asking questions and making phone calls. There didn't really seem to be a fine line saying yes persue this, or no - see what happens. Alot of it just boiled down to her being so young still.
One of the questions during my son's assessment was if he had any siblings on the spectrum. Having just had the conversation about my daughter the week before, we answered honestly. We didn't know. We proceeded to fill in the psychologist (who also has a background in autism) as to the signs we were seeing and made aware of.
At the same time I received the phone call about considering our son switch schools, my son's resource teacher also had said that they discussed Shelby during the team meeting and we were strongly urged to consider having her tested given my son's diagnoses.
At the peditrician's appointment my son had last week I also mentioned my daughter and some of the concern's. She quickly added my daughter as her patient and made a referal for us to talk with Trellis. Trellis called last Thursday and I spent a good chunk of time that morning, recounting her infant years and answering questions. The end result, there is someone who will be coming out to observe her on Friday morning and see if this needs to be taken further.
Meeting at the autism center with my son Thursday, and having a professional observing my daughter Friday morning.
Wish us luck, this is shaping up to be quite the week!
Now, imagine if you were doing it X 2.
Yup, you read that correctly. Now, we are facing the potential of having two children who fall under the autism spectrum.
We've noticed the odd quirk about our 3 year old daughter, but never really knew if it was my daughter feeding off my son, mimicking him or if it was just her natural reaction. We've noticed her covering her ears when she is startled, not liking tags from the clothing that are located on the side and more recently walking on her tip toes. She is also currently in a pre school program, and her teacher's had mentioned to us that her fine motor skills appear to be behind the other children in the program. The red flag for me was when the teacher added on the sentence, it wouldn't concern us if she wasn't so smart.
I can almost recall those same words being said about my son when he was younger.
So while in the midst of having one child diagnosed, I started asking questions and making phone calls. There didn't really seem to be a fine line saying yes persue this, or no - see what happens. Alot of it just boiled down to her being so young still.
One of the questions during my son's assessment was if he had any siblings on the spectrum. Having just had the conversation about my daughter the week before, we answered honestly. We didn't know. We proceeded to fill in the psychologist (who also has a background in autism) as to the signs we were seeing and made aware of.
At the same time I received the phone call about considering our son switch schools, my son's resource teacher also had said that they discussed Shelby during the team meeting and we were strongly urged to consider having her tested given my son's diagnoses.
At the peditrician's appointment my son had last week I also mentioned my daughter and some of the concern's. She quickly added my daughter as her patient and made a referal for us to talk with Trellis. Trellis called last Thursday and I spent a good chunk of time that morning, recounting her infant years and answering questions. The end result, there is someone who will be coming out to observe her on Friday morning and see if this needs to be taken further.
Meeting at the autism center with my son Thursday, and having a professional observing my daughter Friday morning.
Wish us luck, this is shaping up to be quite the week!
Monday, 4 February 2013
A hard decision and a big change.
So as we all know the story never just ends there.....
I knew the psych team, as well as my son's support staff and teacher were meeting a week ago Thursday to discuss the diagnoses and figure what where to go from there. The prospect of switching him from the FI (French Immersion) program into a single language program. My husband and I decided at the time to leave him in the program as we hadn't had a diagnoses and weren't sure it was the right thing to do.
So, the day they meet I get a text from his resource teacher letting me know they just had the meeting and asking if I had a min to talk. I knew that was not good. She called within a few mins and explained that it was strongly recommended we switch my son from the FI program into the English one again. Although he know's french, can speak it, write it, absorb it etc etc he simply won't communicate in the language. If he is asked a question in french he would always answer in English.
My husband and I spent alot of time discussing and weighing our pro's and con's. Now, not only do we have our son to decide on, but we also have our daughter starting school in September as well. We had to consider if it was fair to remove the opportunity from her so that we didn't have two kids in two different schools, or if it was more beneficial to keep her in the same school as her brother.
In the end and after consulting my son, we decided to take make the change. The email I sent to his resource teacher asking her to prepare the transistion package were some of the hardest words I ever typed. My son wanted to go the *English* school. He is excited about the prospect of going to school with my daycare kids and doing work in one language. Knowing it wasn't about me and what I wanted for him, but what is best for him the decision was clear.
My heart is so sad. He has such a strong support system behind him that we've grown so very close to that it's hard to know we are leaving them all behind. Alas, again - it's not about me!
So, the week after March break - he will settle into his new school and today I register my daughter for JK at the same school.
Now, after all of this you would think things would calm down. Wrong..........
I knew the psych team, as well as my son's support staff and teacher were meeting a week ago Thursday to discuss the diagnoses and figure what where to go from there. The prospect of switching him from the FI (French Immersion) program into a single language program. My husband and I decided at the time to leave him in the program as we hadn't had a diagnoses and weren't sure it was the right thing to do.
So, the day they meet I get a text from his resource teacher letting me know they just had the meeting and asking if I had a min to talk. I knew that was not good. She called within a few mins and explained that it was strongly recommended we switch my son from the FI program into the English one again. Although he know's french, can speak it, write it, absorb it etc etc he simply won't communicate in the language. If he is asked a question in french he would always answer in English.
My husband and I spent alot of time discussing and weighing our pro's and con's. Now, not only do we have our son to decide on, but we also have our daughter starting school in September as well. We had to consider if it was fair to remove the opportunity from her so that we didn't have two kids in two different schools, or if it was more beneficial to keep her in the same school as her brother.
In the end and after consulting my son, we decided to take make the change. The email I sent to his resource teacher asking her to prepare the transistion package were some of the hardest words I ever typed. My son wanted to go the *English* school. He is excited about the prospect of going to school with my daycare kids and doing work in one language. Knowing it wasn't about me and what I wanted for him, but what is best for him the decision was clear.
My heart is so sad. He has such a strong support system behind him that we've grown so very close to that it's hard to know we are leaving them all behind. Alas, again - it's not about me!
So, the week after March break - he will settle into his new school and today I register my daughter for JK at the same school.
Now, after all of this you would think things would calm down. Wrong..........
Sunday, 3 February 2013
Time to catch up
Wow, it's been awhile since I've updated as to what's been happening with our progress. Let me get you up to speed as I have a feeling I will be keeping up with those blog a little more now!
So, the summer came and went. My son seem to do well. He enjoy'd the freedom of the lazy days and being able to spend his days playing with my daycare kids. September came and he started at his new school. Due to a boundary review with the French Immersion program in our area he was sent to a newly built school.
His new resource teacher was his teacher from last year at his old school, and his classroom teacher was also a teacher from his old school. Things seem to be going well, until I got a phone call from his resource teacher informing me that his behaviour has progressed and not in a good way.
The meltdown's were becoming more frequent and the intensity had become worse. I made arrangements with his teacher to go in and see what it was they were seeing. Me, being as ignorant as I was figured all would be well since I was there and there would be no issues.
Boy, was I wrong. He was asked to do some work he didn't want to do with his English teacher (the VP of the school) and it was a downward spiral from there. I removed him from the classroom, and took what seemed to be an enternity before I was able to bring him back. Only to have him go off again because his friend was further in his work then my son was with his. His classroom teacher returned and they then got into an activity that my son was interested in doing, and along with me doing some of the writing for him all seemed to be well.
This lead to a big push. Seeing this behaviour, I contacted our family doctor as I knew there was something more we had to do for his anxiety.
Our date for the Cadet testing had been pushed back because there school psychologist serving my son's school.
We saw our family doctor who referred us over to a peditrician. We saw the peditrician, gave her a copy of the previous reports and then had her refer us over to Trellis. Trellis called us and advised us to go to a walk in clinic since we weren't looking for a diagnoses, so much so as resources to help our son cope.
We did the walk in, however by the time we worked everything out with them we were just days from the diagnoses meeting.
While all this was going on, things were on a downward spiral. My son had finally been able to make some friendships, however he made one friend and clung to him. My son was totally dependant on on. Wanting to sit beside him, stand in line beside him, play with him during breaks and counted on him help when he was having a hard time. This new friend, although still a friend asked to be moved from sitting beside my son because it was becoming too much. My son and I had a talk and were able to get through it.
His anxiety was increasing. I firmly believe it was a combo of things. (New school, new teacher, new routine, switch in french/english teaching ratio, our (my husband and I) impending trip to Cuba (where the kids weren't coming), and his friend's moving to France. Poor little guy had a lot on his plate. His resource teacher managed to get him second in line for Cadet testing and we finally got a date in Jan.
So the quick version is, a few weeks ago my husband and I went in and met with the Cadet team. Answered alot of questions about him and about us. One of the Cadet members was observing my son in his classroom while were answering the questions. Once we were finished the team spent a few hours with my son doing some testing and observations. We met again at 2:30 the following day. Reviewed the information and without delaying it any further, my son was diagnosed with ASD. Autism Spectrum. They stated he didn't meet enough of the criteria to be considered Aspergers, but was for sure on the spectrum.
So now, here we sit. We were given a package with a bunch of local resources and now await a meeting with our local autism center in Feb to see where we go from here.
So, the summer came and went. My son seem to do well. He enjoy'd the freedom of the lazy days and being able to spend his days playing with my daycare kids. September came and he started at his new school. Due to a boundary review with the French Immersion program in our area he was sent to a newly built school.
His new resource teacher was his teacher from last year at his old school, and his classroom teacher was also a teacher from his old school. Things seem to be going well, until I got a phone call from his resource teacher informing me that his behaviour has progressed and not in a good way.
The meltdown's were becoming more frequent and the intensity had become worse. I made arrangements with his teacher to go in and see what it was they were seeing. Me, being as ignorant as I was figured all would be well since I was there and there would be no issues.
Boy, was I wrong. He was asked to do some work he didn't want to do with his English teacher (the VP of the school) and it was a downward spiral from there. I removed him from the classroom, and took what seemed to be an enternity before I was able to bring him back. Only to have him go off again because his friend was further in his work then my son was with his. His classroom teacher returned and they then got into an activity that my son was interested in doing, and along with me doing some of the writing for him all seemed to be well.
This lead to a big push. Seeing this behaviour, I contacted our family doctor as I knew there was something more we had to do for his anxiety.
Our date for the Cadet testing had been pushed back because there school psychologist serving my son's school.
We saw our family doctor who referred us over to a peditrician. We saw the peditrician, gave her a copy of the previous reports and then had her refer us over to Trellis. Trellis called us and advised us to go to a walk in clinic since we weren't looking for a diagnoses, so much so as resources to help our son cope.
We did the walk in, however by the time we worked everything out with them we were just days from the diagnoses meeting.
While all this was going on, things were on a downward spiral. My son had finally been able to make some friendships, however he made one friend and clung to him. My son was totally dependant on on. Wanting to sit beside him, stand in line beside him, play with him during breaks and counted on him help when he was having a hard time. This new friend, although still a friend asked to be moved from sitting beside my son because it was becoming too much. My son and I had a talk and were able to get through it.
His anxiety was increasing. I firmly believe it was a combo of things. (New school, new teacher, new routine, switch in french/english teaching ratio, our (my husband and I) impending trip to Cuba (where the kids weren't coming), and his friend's moving to France. Poor little guy had a lot on his plate. His resource teacher managed to get him second in line for Cadet testing and we finally got a date in Jan.
So the quick version is, a few weeks ago my husband and I went in and met with the Cadet team. Answered alot of questions about him and about us. One of the Cadet members was observing my son in his classroom while were answering the questions. Once we were finished the team spent a few hours with my son doing some testing and observations. We met again at 2:30 the following day. Reviewed the information and without delaying it any further, my son was diagnosed with ASD. Autism Spectrum. They stated he didn't meet enough of the criteria to be considered Aspergers, but was for sure on the spectrum.
So now, here we sit. We were given a package with a bunch of local resources and now await a meeting with our local autism center in Feb to see where we go from here.
Saturday, 21 July 2012
Friday, 20 July 2012
Ignorance is bliss?!?!?
I have to admit since summer vacation has started my son almost seems like a whole new kid. I'm assuming it's because he has more freedom's then he would during the school year. Sleeping in, the change of pace of school work and and just a general, one day at a time lazy day out look.
I did notice that yesterday after not getting much sleep the night before, when he started to loose at a game he was playing with the daycare kids melt down city was his destination. I was able to cut it off before the situation escalated.
I do have to say though that I recently had a conversation with a family member in regards to what has been going on with my son and have now realized that I will forever being facing ignorant people. People who believe that these children are a result of *today's society*, you know where kids are basically spoiled little brats (or at least my kid is (their words, not mine) and there is really nothing wrong with them that a little discipline wouldn't fix.
Not only was I insulted that parenting was called into question by someone who really doesn't have much a leg to stand on, but my heart also broke for my son as I realized he will continue to face this attitude by many through the years.
As a parent of a beautiful little boy who is wired a little differently, I beg of you to please refrain from judging the next time you see a child from this perspective. The reality is you just never know. These are bright, caring, loving children who deserve just as much love and respect as the next child.
I did notice that yesterday after not getting much sleep the night before, when he started to loose at a game he was playing with the daycare kids melt down city was his destination. I was able to cut it off before the situation escalated.
I do have to say though that I recently had a conversation with a family member in regards to what has been going on with my son and have now realized that I will forever being facing ignorant people. People who believe that these children are a result of *today's society*, you know where kids are basically spoiled little brats (or at least my kid is (their words, not mine) and there is really nothing wrong with them that a little discipline wouldn't fix.
Not only was I insulted that parenting was called into question by someone who really doesn't have much a leg to stand on, but my heart also broke for my son as I realized he will continue to face this attitude by many through the years.
As a parent of a beautiful little boy who is wired a little differently, I beg of you to please refrain from judging the next time you see a child from this perspective. The reality is you just never know. These are bright, caring, loving children who deserve just as much love and respect as the next child.
Wednesday, 6 June 2012
Arrrrggghh.......
SOMEDAYS!!! Do any of you ever feel that way?!?
Man, has my son been pushing it lately.
I had a message on my machine last Thursday after getting out of the shower letting me know my son had quite the morning and had been sitting with his teacher and principal trying to get him to come back down and centered. It had gotten so bad that they were contemplating evacuating the classroom. She also advised me that she had indicated his use of video games and lego would be non exsistant. She wanted me to know so I could back that up at home.
I my son's teacher back on her cell phone (I'm grateful to have the kind of relationship with her) only to find out my son was sitting inside at the very moment on his recess working on questions he was suppose to have done that morning. Not only did I assure her I would back her up, but i also asked if i could speak to my little culprit.
My son greeted me on the phone as though he was having the best day ever and let me know everything is just fine now. I let hiim know that even if it was fine now, it wasn't earlier and because of that he had lost use of his DS, the X Box and all his Lego. I continued to let him know that if his afternoon was anything like his morning he could kiss all things important to him good bye for the rest of the weekend. If I got a good report, he got everything back the next day. I got a text from his teacher not long after our phone conversation letting me know she had never seen a child complete his work so quickly and head out to recess. Funny how that happens, eh?
Lucky for him, the report was good Thursday after school. Before he hopped on the bus Friday morning, the same scenario was laid out for him. If I heard anything bad about his day - poof bye, bye all things important! Report came back well, Friday was a good day!
This week has been a nightmare. It might be because my husband is on afternoons this week and I have the kids by myself at night, but man is this kid pushing!
Homework. The last week he has to write is carnet de lecture. Basically 5-6 sentances in a book report format on the book the kids select from their library. He got one sentance down before he decided he had nothing else to say about the book. It was borning, he already knew everything, it was too hard, couldn't find his pencil etc etc. His attitude to boot, landed him in a brief time out.
Once he (and I) cooled down and decided that yelling was getting us no where, we opted to get one of the french books he had here and use that. Smooth sailing. Two sentances down, good to go!
This morning the attitude was wide open. I nicely said excuse me countless time to ensure he knew I didn't like the tone of his voice, or his need to whine at every given situation.
As I write this tonight, I have a very unhappy little boy who once again inisists that this book now too is boring and he has nothing to write. For the last 90 mins, there has been not much more communicated then *Do your sentances* on my part and then the above list of excuses on his part.
Now that I've taken away the DS - suddenly the book isn't so borning anymore! Two sentances are presently being put on paper. Again, funny how that works!
Man, has my son been pushing it lately.
I had a message on my machine last Thursday after getting out of the shower letting me know my son had quite the morning and had been sitting with his teacher and principal trying to get him to come back down and centered. It had gotten so bad that they were contemplating evacuating the classroom. She also advised me that she had indicated his use of video games and lego would be non exsistant. She wanted me to know so I could back that up at home.
I my son's teacher back on her cell phone (I'm grateful to have the kind of relationship with her) only to find out my son was sitting inside at the very moment on his recess working on questions he was suppose to have done that morning. Not only did I assure her I would back her up, but i also asked if i could speak to my little culprit.
My son greeted me on the phone as though he was having the best day ever and let me know everything is just fine now. I let hiim know that even if it was fine now, it wasn't earlier and because of that he had lost use of his DS, the X Box and all his Lego. I continued to let him know that if his afternoon was anything like his morning he could kiss all things important to him good bye for the rest of the weekend. If I got a good report, he got everything back the next day. I got a text from his teacher not long after our phone conversation letting me know she had never seen a child complete his work so quickly and head out to recess. Funny how that happens, eh?
Lucky for him, the report was good Thursday after school. Before he hopped on the bus Friday morning, the same scenario was laid out for him. If I heard anything bad about his day - poof bye, bye all things important! Report came back well, Friday was a good day!
This week has been a nightmare. It might be because my husband is on afternoons this week and I have the kids by myself at night, but man is this kid pushing!
Homework. The last week he has to write is carnet de lecture. Basically 5-6 sentances in a book report format on the book the kids select from their library. He got one sentance down before he decided he had nothing else to say about the book. It was borning, he already knew everything, it was too hard, couldn't find his pencil etc etc. His attitude to boot, landed him in a brief time out.
Once he (and I) cooled down and decided that yelling was getting us no where, we opted to get one of the french books he had here and use that. Smooth sailing. Two sentances down, good to go!
This morning the attitude was wide open. I nicely said excuse me countless time to ensure he knew I didn't like the tone of his voice, or his need to whine at every given situation.
As I write this tonight, I have a very unhappy little boy who once again inisists that this book now too is boring and he has nothing to write. For the last 90 mins, there has been not much more communicated then *Do your sentances* on my part and then the above list of excuses on his part.
Now that I've taken away the DS - suddenly the book isn't so borning anymore! Two sentances are presently being put on paper. Again, funny how that works!
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